Germaine and Danny

Germaine is at a local pub waiting for a beer with a friend…

 

Germaine: Yeah this bitch is crazy like how the fuck is someone that old even strong enough to put someone through a wall?

Danny: Why are you still doing this? Can’t you just volunteer with someone else in there?

Germaine: Because no one else wants to work with her. The last guy quit cause he couldn’t take it

Danny: What happened?

Germaine: She wouldn’t tell me. I asked and she said “bitch couldn’t handle me just like my bitch grandson” and then told me to never bring it up again

Danny: Damn so wha-

Germaine: So then I asked the employees and they said she broke the last volunteer’s spine in three places with a cane but they couldn’t arrest her cause they say he slipped on some water

Danny: Do you believe that?

Germaine: I believe she’s a fucking Hulk locked in an old ladies body. I’m surprised she even needed the cane. Probably used the “slap a bitch” arm…

Danny: What?

Germaine: Nothing…anyways what’s going on with you?

Danny: My girlfriend and I are going hiking soon so that’ll be fun

Germaine: Nice! I get to go back to that hell hole and get hazed like some fucking frat boy

Danny: You don’t even have to go back…it’s fucking volunteering. Just go volunteer somewhere else!

Germaine: Yeah but nowhere else needs volunteers and it’s either this place or the soup kitchen and I can’t go back to the soup kitchen

Danny: Why?

Germaine: Cause last time I went I got hit on by someone there, and not in a good way

Danny: By who? One of the homeless people?

Germaine: No the fucking volunteer coordinator. She fucking told me to see her before I left for the night so I did and when I met with her she was in the kitchen naked and said “wanna fuck me on the same plates those people eat off of” and I said no and then she charged at me like some fucking battering ram and started kissing my neck saying weird shit like “I’ll give you a hot meal” and “I’ll give your cock shelter”. It wasn’t even a shelter! It was just a soup kitchen! She literally tried to do some weird homeless foreplay thing happen…

Danny: Holy shit, man! How did you get her off?

Germaine: I hit her with one of the pans and she just took it out of my hands and said “oh so you like it rough?” as blood was coming out of her nose and mouth and then I just ran as fast as I could out to the parking lot. I didn’t even take my car. I literally ran past my car and into some neighborhood!

Danny: What the fuck!?

Germaine: Yeah so anyways how’s your mom?

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