19:49

Real eyes realize real lies

But can’t hear the outcries

Or see the pink skies

Up above them like cotton candy

But at least be able to focus on me

Let’s find out what could be

Because it could be magic

I know I feel fantastic

When I hear from you it’s like static

Under my skin

Rising up and out from within

That makes me feel like we both can win

Maybe we have nothing to gain

Maybe this whole thing is insane

And maybe you think I’m lame

But we also don’t have anything to lose

So let’s just take it slow and cruise

So slow that you and I lay down and snooze

Both Ways

One way streets are so fleeting

And until l now it left me with no feelings

But it did leave me fearing and hard of hearing

Of my own thoughts

It was never lying but maybe some concealing

And I played the game somewhat well without revealing

But at all times denying and at times crying and sighing

For help and confidence

Because what this is can be stigmatizing

And so I was better off “hiding”

But that was demoralizing

So I stopped

Now I’m realizing that when the sun is rising

It is a blessing that I am still living

No more conspiring against myself and fleeing

Only loving openly and seeing

That one way streets are fleeting

Which is why I can have it both ways

Chaser

No, I need more in my cup

I need more to shut this up

It’s digging at me like razors

So I’ll take some without any chasers

So I don’t have to think

And not smell this stink

That’s clouding my mind

And turning back time

When I was losing my mind

And was beginning to unwind

While I watched them chase her

And watched the danger

Unfold like paper

With writing from your savior

Saying its ok

That it’s a new day

It is meant to be this way

Go out and do you

Go out and be new

The grass is wet with dew

So clean off your shoes

Don’t track in the mud

Like some inconsiderate dud

Live freely

So people can see me be me freely

And not live in fear

I have people I hold dear

And they love me without condition

So I’ll shove this into remission

You probably don’t know what this is about

Maybe you have some doubt

But don’t

Don’t ask me to explain because I won’t

I’ll just stay in my lane

And do things somewhat the same

Because I was blessed to made by my maker

And so for that, fill my cup with no chaser

Germaine and Sherry, Part II

Germaine has returned to the old folks home to volunteer…

 

 

Sherry: So anyways that’s why I’m not allowed to see my grandkids no more

Germaine: Literally no one brought up your grandkids. Why do you always bring that up? I said I had your CD!

Sherry: What? What CD?

Germaine: The Luther Vandross CD you asked for? Remember? The wall?

Sherry: Oh yeah that’s right! Well you got it, right? Cause if not you goin through a wall you fuckin beanstalk!

Germaine: I have the CD. Here!

Sherry: Ooo yes! Y’all young bloods don’t know nothin bout some Luther Vandross

Germaine: Yeah I know I had to use amazon prime to find it. People don’t even buy CDs anymore!

Sherry: What was that about Optimus Prime?

Germaine: I said I had to-nevermind…

Sherry: Go head and put this on the CD player for me other there

Germaine: …this is a record player…

Sherry: Yes…so play my Luther Vandross record…

Germaine: I…I don’t…are you serious?

Sherry: What’s the fuckin problem? Take ya Uncle Ben hands and put the damn record on!

Germaine: It’s a fucking record player you dumb bitch! This is a CD! Record players don’t play CDs!

Sherry: First off don’t be callin me no bitch in my own house and second, I told ya dumb ass to get me a Luther Vandross RECORD!!!

Germaine: Uh no you said Luther Vandross CD!!! If you said Luther Vandross record I would’ve known the difference!

Sherry: You fucking young motherfuckers don’t know good music anymore! I said get me a Luther Vandross RECORD and you bring me some CD like I know what to fucking do with that shit! Look at me. Does it look like I know what to do with that? Now go back to whatever Optimus Prime you used and get me my fucking Luther Vandross record!!!

Germaine: How am I even supposed to find that shit! I have no idea where to even get records!

Sherry: It’s called you shouldn’t have fucked up in the first place ya dumb shit! Talkin like this is my fucking problem!

Germaine: Listen, bitch. You said Luther Vandross CD so that’s what I brought you. Get it through your ancient skull that records aren’t a thing anymore. They haven’t been a thing for a long time!

Sherry: Who the fuck you callin ancient with ya wack ass jerry curl and twig body lookin emaciated like a motherfucker. You gotta lot of mouth for someone who needs to be getting me my Luther Vandross record!

Germaine: Look maybe I can-

Sherry: You got an A-track at least?

Germaine: I can’t do this right now. I’m leaving. Bye, sherry. Have a nice fucking day…

Sherry: I hope ya die dream killer!!!

 

To be continued…

Germaine and Danny

Germaine is at a local pub waiting for a beer with a friend…

 

Germaine: Yeah this bitch is crazy like how the fuck is someone that old even strong enough to put someone through a wall?

Danny: Why are you still doing this? Can’t you just volunteer with someone else in there?

Germaine: Because no one else wants to work with her. The last guy quit cause he couldn’t take it

Danny: What happened?

Germaine: She wouldn’t tell me. I asked and she said “bitch couldn’t handle me just like my bitch grandson” and then told me to never bring it up again

Danny: Damn so wha-

Germaine: So then I asked the employees and they said she broke the last volunteer’s spine in three places with a cane but they couldn’t arrest her cause they say he slipped on some water

Danny: Do you believe that?

Germaine: I believe she’s a fucking Hulk locked in an old ladies body. I’m surprised she even needed the cane. Probably used the “slap a bitch” arm…

Danny: What?

Germaine: Nothing…anyways what’s going on with you?

Danny: My girlfriend and I are going hiking soon so that’ll be fun

Germaine: Nice! I get to go back to that hell hole and get hazed like some fucking frat boy

Danny: You don’t even have to go back…it’s fucking volunteering. Just go volunteer somewhere else!

Germaine: Yeah but nowhere else needs volunteers and it’s either this place or the soup kitchen and I can’t go back to the soup kitchen

Danny: Why?

Germaine: Cause last time I went I got hit on by someone there, and not in a good way

Danny: By who? One of the homeless people?

Germaine: No the fucking volunteer coordinator. She fucking told me to see her before I left for the night so I did and when I met with her she was in the kitchen naked and said “wanna fuck me on the same plates those people eat off of” and I said no and then she charged at me like some fucking battering ram and started kissing my neck saying weird shit like “I’ll give you a hot meal” and “I’ll give your cock shelter”. It wasn’t even a shelter! It was just a soup kitchen! She literally tried to do some weird homeless foreplay thing happen…

Danny: Holy shit, man! How did you get her off?

Germaine: I hit her with one of the pans and she just took it out of my hands and said “oh so you like it rough?” as blood was coming out of her nose and mouth and then I just ran as fast as I could out to the parking lot. I didn’t even take my car. I literally ran past my car and into some neighborhood!

Danny: What the fuck!?

Germaine: Yeah so anyways how’s your mom?

Germaine & Sherry, Part I

Germaine volunteers at his local old folk’s home and enjoys or suffers through a meaningful or abusive relationship with one of the residents, Sherry. This dialogue takes place at the old folk’s home and is typical with them. Germaine and Sherry are both black.

 

Sherry: Boy if you don’t sit yo raggedy ass down lookin like Uncle Ben. I oughta pop you upside the head!

Germaine: Well at least I’m not sitting in this damn old people’s home with, with no chance of leaving!

Sherry: Really? That’s your comeback? I’ve heard better comebacks from Lucille and the bitch can’t even talk!

Germaine: well you-

Sherry: I mean really. It’s just a shit ton of hand gestures with her but she still got her slap-a-bitch hand! Ain’t need no mouth when the hand of God come slap you to the damn grave!

Germaine: Well I-

Sherry: And you need to learn how to dress. I mean look at yo damn socks. Got holes all in em like some crack head. Whatchu on some crack or somethin? Crack head lookin motherfucker!

Germaine: I’m not on crack!

Sherry: You sure? Cause just lookin at you makes me want to itch. All skin and bones and ashy like a fuckin chalk board. What’d yo teacher do? Wipe the damn chalk board off on yo bony ass? Chalk ass…

Germaine: It’s cold outside!

Sherry: Oh really? So that ain’t chalk residue all over yo damn legs? Get the hell out of here you ashy ass hole-in-the-sock wearin motherfucker! Talkin bout it’s cold outside.

Germaine: Shut up! You’re so old you probably knew Abe Lincoln!

Sherry: And you know what? He fo damn sure ain’t freed my ass so I had to sit here and listen to yo non-comeback havin ass try to fry me in my own damn house!

Germaine: This isn’t even your house. Other people live here too!

Sherry: And you ain’t my son but I’ll whoop you like you is. How you think I ended up in this place? It wasn’t by sparin bitch asses like you! It was this place or jail and I woulda beat a bitch ass in there too!

Germaine: You almost went to jail?

Sherry: Yeah I beat a boy’s ass real bad.

Germaine: Who?

Sherry: My grandson.

Germaine: Oh…

Sherry: Yeah…basically I told him if he didn’t stop jumpin on my bed that I’d whoop him into next week and he kept jumpin so I yanked him off the bed, channeled Jesus Christ himself and slapped him into a different family. And I don’t say that shit lightly cause he literally went through the damn wall and into the next apartment.

Germaine: Holy shit what’s wrong with you?

Sherry: Fuck you mean what’s wrong with me? Bitch was fuckin up my bed then fucked my wall up with his big ass head so who’s really the victim? Then the people next door all yellin talkin about they just moved in and they can’t afford to fix the wall. Well neither can I, bitch! Wouldn’t be no hole in the wall in the first place if jack goddamn rabbit hadda just sit his ass down like I told him to do! Got me all the way fucked up jumpin on my Martha Stewart sheets!

Germaine: Ok…well I’m going to go now so see you later. Try not to beat up any more people while I’m gone.

Sherry: And don’t be comin back here with holes in yo damn socks unless you wanna get torched again! Oh and bring me my Luther Vandross CD like I asked for last week. If you come without it next time you gon have to pick which one of these walls you finna go through!

Upcoming Project: “Germaine”

All my short stories and poetry have had a dark tone which I have no problem with but I want to try and experiment with comedy writing so I am creating an anthology story called “Germaine” that follows a young black man named Germaine through the misadventures of his life. Germaine is based very loosely on myself and the situations he ends up in are sometimes based in some bit of truth but mostly just in fiction. The First part of this anthology is all you’ll get for a while as I create his story. If it’s not funny or good then I really don’t care because I’m going to keep writing it anyways. Hope y’all enjoy it!

Heavy

I feel heavy

There is a dark, massive blanket covering my body

My whole self is weak trying to keep standing

But I fight through the burning in my legs

But for how much longer?

I feel cold

This dark, massive blanket is wet

The water is cold and seeps into my skin

And then that water chills my soul

So that now I am frozen

Frozen in time and stuck in this feeling

I tend to an ever dwindling fire inside

But for how much longer?

I feel tired

I am so tired of holding this blanket up

I am tired of feeling heavy

I am tired of feeling cold

But I have to remain awake

But I can’t do it much longer

Soon

All artists are sad or have been sad

Wow, beauty really is mad

Aren’t we all sad, just a tad?

Happy can’t last forever? Damn!

It’s a truth that is forever denied

If one is sad it is always kept inside

What a shame, you always have to hide

Well, you don’t have to hide

But exposure and pity coincide

And pity you will not have

You will not be felt sorry for

For your pride is overgrown

Emotion must never be shown

Because you are man?

Hold on

Don’t become heavy with stereotypes

Don’t give in to that fake hype

Own it

Show it

Feel it

Then destroy it

Have a fit

Be a misfit

But don’t hide it

For now it is strong

It is holding on

To the you that you want to be

Your old self is protected from yourself

From me?

Why from me?

Because now you are weak

But you must become strong

The strength has been inside you all along

So own it

Feel it

Show it

It may be hard now

But victory is around a corner

Maybe not the next corner

But a corner soon approaching

Blue

Celebrate the small victories

Ride that high for a while

Let all the love come to me

That gives me reasons to smile

For an instant things were great

Things were as they should be

I hadn’t felt down as of late

But now that feeling has come to haunt me

I’m not ignorant of my blessings

I know there are people around

But when those people try to say things

I can barely hear their sounds

It’s exhausting, taxing, and heavy

But I don’t blame it on anyone

Because this was meant for me

So I’ll deal with it until it’s done

I know this feeling too well, it has no disguise

It comes out of the blue and leaves me blue

So maybe I’ll try to paint and watch that paint dry

But unfortunately I have lost interest in that too